three.

As I approached the end of the year and tried to decide what I would set for my goals for running, I was torn. The original plan had been to run a marathon at the end of the month of October with some friends, this friend in particular.

However, I didn't get in during sign ups. It was a bit sad, but in the end, it was probably for the best considering the trip to Alaska and all the other things going on in my life, getting the training in for 26 miles would have been tough.

Bit still, I wanted to do something epic, something that would completely push my limits. And so I found 3 Half Marathons to run in the month of October. When I picked the three there was really no rhyme or reason to them, other than their proximity for driving, as well as not conflicting with anything else already on my calendar.

Just the other day as I approached this weekend knowing it was my last long run before the month, I began to think about how the events I had chose actually held some serious significance. The first one, I have run twice before, it is actually the first half marathon I ever ran.

The second I will run with friends, that's not to say that I won't see people I know at the first one, but at the second one I am staying with friends and we'll do the event together. This is significant because one of the hardest things for me to do when running was to run with other people, I was always afraid I would slow them down, or breathe too heavy, in general just very self conscious about running with others. I have tackled this fear and now enjoy running with people. It was another step in my running process. I have run this race before, as a relay and only 8 miles of the hills.

The last one, I will go to by myself, and more than likely will know no one. This is how I started to run, by myself, it was unknown to me. Although this will be the flattest of the three, I think it will be the hardest, my legs will be tired, so to be on the course with just me, myself and I will be fitting, this will be when my mental strength will be most important.

twelve.

Sunshine-

I am sure I say this every year, but I honestly cannot believe you are another year older. 12!! We were talking about this in the car the other day. We actually were discussing how long we've lived in the house, and I said it seems like a combination of both 'we've only been here a few years' and 'we've been here decades'. I feel the same way about you. I almost can't remember my life with out you, yet it seems like you were born last week.

The date of your birth and the week leading up to it have such emotions and memories for so many people, as I was already more than a week over due when 9/11 happened. And I remember the tv on in the delivery room the whole time just playing the coverage constantly, until I finally requested it be turned off.

It amazes me all the time when I look at you, and I know the chaos, sadness, anger and negativity that was going on in the world the day you were born, and yet you are none of that. You are light, smiles, sunshine and joy. You are now a tween, so don't get me wrong, you are chaos sometimes, but you are good chaos, you are growing up and finding your way chaos.

This summer I wrote about how fierce you are. But you are also joy. You were so excited to start school this year, and you still get excited to tell me about something new you are learning in school. You bounded out of the first Social of the year all excited that you asked two boys to dance and they both said yes.

You recently won your first first place in your weapons division. You have been working so hard on this and you were so proud (and I was equally proud of you). That night I asked you, is that your most coveted trophy so far? And your answer was- the one where I placed 4th in co-ed weapons but I was the first girl to place is pretty cool too!

This last year has been pretty amazing for you on many fronts. You went to Space Camp with 17 of your classmates. You went to Alaska on a cruise with your Grandmother and me, you earned a black stripe on your red belt, you were in two plays- Princess and the Pea as Princess Diana Ding Dong of Dingaling and Cinderella as one of her trusty Rat companions. You went to sailing camp, and sleep away karate camp during the summer. You were in a couple Anti-Bullying Public Service Announcement commercials with several of your classmates. At a overnight field trip, you were the first person in your group to volunteer to climb the 45 foot telephone pole! You ran two 5ks. You signed up for a Fab Friday at school to bike 18 miles, you signed up without any of your friends and until the last day, you were the only girl signed up to go. You played lacrosse for the first time and loved it. You started the New Year off by jumping in the ocean, and convincing one of your friends to join you. You saw Big Time Rush in concert. By all accounts that sounds like a pretty fantastic year!

It is hard as your Mom to let go sometimes, to let you wander off with your friends or to let you figure out if you have everything you need for something. It is becoming easier, as you continually show me how ready you are for those new responsibilities.

Besides continuing to be your awesome self, if I had one skill I hope you can learn this year, I hope that you can learn how to 'fake it 'til you make it'. I think this is part of your joy and light, but sometimes you have to do things you don't want to do, and sometimes even when you are tired you have give it your all. It isn't an easy thing to learn, but it is a fantastic skill that will serve you well.

I also hope you continue to realize your skills, your intelligence; build your self confidence even more, realize your skills on the flute and your talents on the stage and that you get algebra even if you explain it differently, that you play lacrosse or whatever sport(s) you choose and enjoy them, and that you continue to enjoy working toward your black belt, and that you continue to be the wonderful friend and human being that you are.

My Love, you are my day brightener and my joy. I am blessed to call you my daughter and I cannot wait to see how awesome you will be at being 12.

Love,

Mom