Sunday, December 11, 2011

A Letter to Me At 40

Dear Me-

First, I'll be honest and say that I started this letter to you about 2 months before the big day. This letter is much harder to write than the letter I wrote to Sunshine.

The most important thing for you to know is that you are so much happier and better than you have ever been. I talk to people who are our age and they all say that as we age we stop sweating the small stuff. I know I definitely see you having much less time for the people and things in your life that annoy you or drain you. And that's a good thing.

You aren't always good at it, but I see you taking and making more time for yourself. And that's pretty amazing for someone who has spent the majority of her life taking care of everyone but herself.

You know you'll always be a champion over thinker, but what you over think about is changing, you don't rethink whole conversations and wonder what the people think of you after that, you have reached the point where you, more times than not, simply say-- this is me, take me or leave me, and you realize you really only need the people who take you, and the rest can just go on their merry way.

Your competitive nature has come out in spades this year, you have competed in several karate tournaments. And run several races. Taken over 2 minutes off your average per mile time, and have about 20 miles left to run this year to reach 500 running miles. And somewhere in all that training, you got it into your brain that you wanted to run a sub 10 minute mile. As I write this- you are close- so very very close.. 10:06 minute miles over 3.6 miles- and that first mile on that run, was sub 10... but being as competitive as you are- you want all 3.6 to be sub-10. You'll get there- you are so close and you've got good people on your side encouraging and helping along the way, even if it means you throw up during the process.

You also, have worked incredibly hard, accidentally, at loosing weight and overall getting in shape. You now weigh less than you did in high school and you look freakin' amazing. The other day you were folding clothes and for the first time you held up a pair of Sunshine's pants and thought for one second- wait are those mine or hers.

You've been dreading this day for the last month or two, something crazy about being 40 and 40 being so old.. I think you are wrong, 40 seems like a big number but it isn't. I'm pretty sure that 40 is a gateway, a right of passage to so much more and exciting things in life. And you are so wonderfully prepared for that.. you are very ready for this next chapter of your life.. so grab it by the tail and enjoy the ride!

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