Saturday, July 12, 2008

The Basement

I've been in this routine of waking up around 4 or 4:30 each morning and so I get out of bed. I do some stuff around the house quietly and then usually plop myself in front of the computer and surf or create World Peace, sort of depends on mood.

The other day, I'm sitting at the computer and I hear voices, my first thought is, oh, I forgot to turn my alarm off- the first alarm is a radio station, then comes the loud obnoxious beep if I don't wake up. So I get up, to turn it off not wanting it to wake Sunshine up. As I approach my room, I realize a. the noise is not coming from this direction and b. the alarm clock is off, so I start walking toward the living room, odd, but maybe the cats accidentally hit the remote. But nope, as I walk toward the living room the noise gets louder- it is women speaking and in true Doppler Effect the noise gets quieter... hmm...

So I walk back toward the office... wait... the basement? That is funny. So I open the door and turn on the light. I did mention that is 5 in the morning right? And I know what you are thinking- don't do it, don't do it.. people always get in trouble when they go into the basement in horror movies.

But what is a girl to do? I am the adult in the house? I have to protect Sunshine. Wait? Why isn't the dog barking? So I start looking for what large blunt object I should bring with me into the basement, I am not sure why I chose large blunt object and not sharp knife, but this is what I did.

I start looking, we don't have a baseball bat.. what about a broom? No, that's too thin... you know, if there is someone in the basement, he or she knows you are up now. Why isn't the dog barking? You know this is how bad things happen to people in horror movies. Ah.. I found something.. this will have to do.

And this, ladies in gentlemen, is what I chose as my weapon of choice to enter my basement...

Because really, what could be more frightening than a child's hobby horse? I don't know, maybe in my brain I was thinking the would-be-attacker would see my weapon and start laughing.

So I descend the stairs.. looking side to side.. please note, my basement is one big room, with the exception of movable partition that separates the oil tank from everything. Back and forth I look, hobby horse squarely in my hands ready to swing at whatever comes my way.

I step on the basement floor, I turn more lights on. Somewhere on my decent down the stairs I think, the cats must have turned the tv on by steeping on the remote, but as I hit the floor, I see the remote and it really isn't any place either cat could get to.

I turn, I move the partition with one hand so as to keep my weapon poised for attack.

Hmm... nothing. While I'm down here I guess I'll scoop the cat litter. So I place the hobby horse on the dryer and start to scoop the poop, and as I'm doing this I think, well if there is someone down here, I now I've a new weapon, I'll just throw dirty cat litter at them...


Stella and Thomas said...

So wait...where were the voices coming from??

I think you picked a good weapon. Thomas bops Stella on the head all the time with that thing and I think it really hurts:-)

shamalam said...

It was the TV, but I still don't have any idea how it got turned on.. I'm going with the cats... but I have no idea!

Stella and Thomas said...

Oh how funny! I would have been freaked out!!