Wide Open Spaces

You know, it is all about perspective. And sometimes I lose that fact.

I live a pretty great life, I'm successful professionally, I'm a strong independent woman raising a fabulous child. I've had the opportunity to be in love a few times and had my fair share of broken hearts. I have fantastic friends who are amazing humans in general and great to me.

But there are times... when I get caught in the negative and lose sight of all the great stuff. I forget that there are people who want children but haven't found someone to have one with or can't have children. There are people who have never been in love or who have never been loved back. There are people who struggle from career to career trying to find where they fit in. There are people in unhappy relationships, afraid to end them for fear of what might be on the other side.

It is in these moments when I get low and I can so clearly in my head say to myself- this is ridiculous- be grateful for what you have and who you are- for your life is wonderful- and at the same time ignore this and focus on the thing that is bothering me.

This is when I need the outdoors- when I need wide open space- when I need to see and understand the vastness of nature and appreciate it all.

I can't do as the Dixie Chicks say and head out west... but I can re energize in m my wide open spaces with Sunshine and be ready to tackle the rest of life's tests.

The Sky

I love fall, although it seems to have arrived a bit early this year. I love it, cool nights, warm days!



For more WW go here..

Flower Power Day 8

She LOVES IT! YES!!

Flower Power Day 7

And today I finished.

You'll notice that many of the walls are blank, this is because the posters that I ordered have not arrived, but for the most part, the room is done.

Tomorrow I shall rest. And Sunshine will get to see her room, can't wait to see her face!

Flower Power Day 6

Started to bring stuff into the room. That is going to be the tricky part, where to put everything.

But here are the Flower Power Linens.

Flower Power Day 5

Much progress today. Picked up the loft bed, and put it together, and started to bring stuff into the room.

I am feeling better about what I have to do over the next couple of days now that the major projects are done.

The theme is starting to come together.



Not sure about the ottoman, but it opens for storage, I really like that idea. I'll have to see if it grows on me in the next day or 2.

Flower Power Day 4

No new pictures today, but some progress.

3rd coats of paint on the book cases, they look much much better. And for the most part I'm done with the painting, may have a few touch ups to do, but no major work.

I go and take a look at the loft bed today, and if it is sturdy, it will come home with me tonight. It is integral to my plan for the room. However, if it isn't good, I have a back up plan and have found a friend who is willing to build one with me.

In other exciting news I stopped by Lowe's and found these.

I must say, the people at Lowe's were quite rude, when I asked where I could find the Wallies. He's a cartoon isn't he? I said yes, but spelled it for them, and said I'd seen it on their website. Well, ma'am, we don't have everything on our website in the store. I understand that, that's why I'm here to look around. So when the woman brought me to the aisle, and we found them, I simply pointed at the name and said, see look, Wallies.

Oh well, I'm looking forward to getting things put in the room and adding in all the accessories. I got such cool accessories!

Flower Power Day 3

Today is mostly about second coats, it was a bit disheartening to see the dark walls in the day light, they will need a full second coat.

Here is the pink on the book cases, pink and yellow. When discussing the room with Sunshine she wanted gymnastics, fairies, flowers, princes and this lamp she saw in a picture.

Not a small task, but I'm covering many of the bases.. the pink, is called.. Night Fairy! How cool is that???

Flower Power Day 2

The walls.. from a light purple to a dark purple (they call it Grandeur)...

Flower Power Day 1

Sunshine is with her Dad this week, and for her birthday I am redoing her room for her.

Follow my progress over the week.

I give you before pictures and


Day 1

Yellow on the book cases

Spiders

Let's be clear, I hate spiders, despise them, as a young child I had an awful dream about them and have been fearful of them ever since. I am well aware of where poisonous spiders live and do what I can to avoid those places.

Well, along comes Sunshine and there are just some things a Mom has to do. I remember when Sunshine was really small, probably less than a year old, she started crying out in the middle of the night so I go running, only to find a spider in her crib, a big black spider on the nice white crib sheets.

This is a defining moment in a woman's life, this is when you understand the folk lore passed down of the woman who hiked up a mountain to save her child from a rival tribe while the men in the village gathered their wits to go and fight the other tribe.

Yes, I understand entering a tribe of rivals is very different than killing a spider, but you must understand, my fear of spiders is palpable, often involves screaming and dancing around.

So Tuesday I pick Sunshine up from camp, we have just left the parking lot and are entering a residential area with a low speed limit, I'm always tense through this area, because there are always people walking or kids out playing. As we are discussing the events of the day, all of a sudden Sunshine screams... screams so loud and strong that my heart is in my throat... and I'm shaking because I'm sure I have hit a dog or a person, but there is no place to pull over.

As I am trying to get 20 feet up the road top pull over, Sunshine now begins to scream words,

DADDY LONG LEGS! DADDY LONG LEGS!

At this point I am both relieved that I have not inadvertently hit something and feel very sorry for Sunshine that she is so upset, crying and yelling.

I pull over and stop and am shaking so badly that I can not grab the Daddy Long Legs by one of its legs, which is just forcing Sunshine to scream more.

A few deep breaths, I grab the spider, toss it out of the car window and home we go.

I kid you not when I tell you I was still shaking 10 minutes later.

Amazing the transformations we make when we become Mom's.

Rafting!!!

I went rafting with some friends this weekend and it was amazing!

A friend, J, has his own raft and has been a raft guide in a previous life, he also grew up on the river so I was very excited when he said, just pick a date and we'll go.

I don't know about where you are.. but we've had inordinate amounts of rain in the last two weeks, so the water levels were incredibly high, J was beyond excited to raft at these high water levels. My friend T and I asked just under 200 times if it was really safe at these water levels, see neither of us had ever been before. And J assured us it was safe, I consulted with his wife A just to get her take, she agreed. So fears suppressed.. off we went..

So four of us embarked on the journey down the Kennebec, J and his wife A, my friend T and me.Hard to take pictures during the big rapids, but needless to say, it was like a wall of water coming at us.. amazing!
I'm told that this spot is usually a nice calm swimming hole, not so when we were there. But while we were standing there taking a break, a butterfly came over and landed on my shoulder. That can only mean good things!!
And as we drove back home, we were met with a rainbow. It was an amazing experience, my butt and arms hurt from padding, my face hurts from laughing and smiling. I am both high on the experience and some how completely relaxed and rejuvenated.

On a more philosophical level there is something about being completely at the mercy of someone else with way more knowledge and experience than you and at the hands of something else bigger than you. I paddled and ducked and stopped when J told us too, and just went with the flow of the river. I think it is something about letting go and enjoying and taking in what comes at you.

Can't wait to go again.

My Soundtrack

I'm going to steal a blogging idea from my friend at Stella and Thomas.. I know she won't mind. I have written about music on here before but some times I forget how important it is to me sometimes. Lyrics speak to me at different times, remind me of people or times in my life. Affect my mood, pull me from sadness, or let me linger in sadness when I need to. Or give me quotes to hang on to. The other thing is that for the most part I can listen to any type of music, depends on my mood, the environment and the company.

Two of my all time favorite quotes come from songs...

"A pocket is no place for a smile anyway"
-The Mountains Win Again by Blues Traveler

and

"You can't always get what you want
But if you try sometimes you just might find
You get what you need"
Rolling Stones

On my recent trip for work, I felt like someone had plugged my mp3 player into every place we went, so many songs we heard were from my mp3 player...

Some songs that have been a general theme in my life since I can remember... Dreams by Van Halen and Fool in the Rain by Zepplin. Perhaps it was the Blue Angels video and my desire to be fighter pilot or just that I think dreams are a pretty powerful thing, both the kind you have when you are sleeping and the ones you consciously create. And well Fool in the Rain because I love running, skipping, playing in the rain.

Right now, I'm enjoying a couple of songs fairly regularly- Summertime by Bon Jovi, because this has been an amazing summer and Find Yourself in You by Everlife and This is Me from Camp Rock- both because it has been an awesome summer of self discovery and growth!

I have a dear, dear friend who I equate Sara Bareilles song City with. If he knew, he would probably not be too pleased, simply because his taste in music is pretty particular- NIN, Tool, White Stripes. But he makes me feel safe, always does, at my lowest moments I just want to be near him, and I feel safe.

During the final months of the divorce my Mom gave me the This One's For the Girls Martina McBride CD. She had played at a funeral for a young woman who had died and left behind her 13 year old daughter. It was karma, I immediately felt like the cd had been made for me. Not a huge country fan, but She's a Butterfly spoke to me- the flying after the darkness of the divorce (no matter how smoothly a divorce goes, there is still monumental sadness, sorrow and grief).

I also really enjoy playing This One's for the Girls for Sunshine. It is powerful, letting her know that you are what you are and that's just fine! And like the woman who had In My Daughter's Eyes played for her daughter, it too describes how I feel about Sunshine. "The miracle God gave to me gives me strength when I am weak".

Two songs remind me of college... Whenever I See Your Smiling Face by James Taylor.. it was my song, my friend Vanice sang it to me one day, and after that, it was just my song, people would sing it to me all the time- and I loved it! And Jesse's Girl by Rick Springfield... I remember dancing on the tables to that song. It was all about the line.. "and she's watching him with those eyes!".

High school was a different story- that part of my life has a lot of Sinead O'Connor and Bon Jovi running through it, and to this day, I am still a big fan of the hair bands! Oh, and the whole The Wall Album and Comfortably Numb by Pink Floyd. I had a friend commit suicide shortly after she graduated from high school, I remember sitting in my room at college and playing Comfortably Numb over and over again, she loved that song.

I have a friend who is a DJ and he says all the time, music is the spice of life, I tend to agree, or at least agree, that my life has a soundtrack playing all the time and it makes me smile!

10K-- CHECK!

Today I ran a 10k. That's 6.2 miles, 6.24 miles to be exact!

It was fabulous. Seriously, it was awesome. I ran with 5800 other people. I ran my best splits ever, and I had energy to pass a woman in the last 2 tenths of a mile. I was paying so much attention to her, that I did get passed right at the finish, but I had enough left to make it a good sprint!

Even better, at the 5k mark, I was about 30 steps ahead of a local high school football team.. nothing like leaving a bunch of high schoolers behind. When it was all over, they passed me on the last hill into the finish, but they were only 90 seconds ahead of me, I do after all, have a few years on them, so I'll give it to them!

In the middle, Sunshine was waiting for me with a fresh bottle of water... I ran up to her and gave her a big kiss and took the water bottle, and ran away with tears in my eyes.

Besides the adrenaline from all the other runners and therefore someone to compete against, the crowd along the route is amazing!! They cheer you on, perfect strangers, read your name from the bib, shout way to go. It propels you! Right before entering the park where the race ends, someone was playing the Rocky theme... it got into my feet and I started passing people on the hill, I was Rocky on the steps in Philadelphia...

As we were waiting for the bus to bring us back to the car, a friend asked me, do you remember starting to run and trying to run 1 mile for the first time? and I said yup, it took me months to get there. And he asked, when did you start running again? And I said, just about a year ago, right after I volunteered at this race last year.

Recently, someone else asked me why I like running, I said, oh, I don't like running, but I do like how I feel after I run. Not a runners high, but a sign of accomplishment.

I will wear, with pride, my shirt from the race to work on Monday... if nothing else it may explain why I'm limping just a little bit! But I promise, I will still have a smile on my face!