These last 2 weeks have been completely crazy, and I am both physically and mentally exhausted. I think its that post holiday let down, and doing everything that you didn't get to do over the holidays- catch up. Also we had 2 short weeks over the holidays at work and well, we all had to hit the ground running when we got back and we haven't stopped yet.
I finished reading Eat, Pray, Love and I loved it. It was a wonderful book. There were chapters that I read where I could literally hear a couple of my friends talking and then other chapters where I looked around the room to see if someone was standing there because I felt like someone was reading my mind.
There is a point in the book, and I'm doing A LOT of paraphrasing here, while she is in India when her friend says, you know what Groceries... if you stop moving, the whole world won't stop moving too. What poignant words for me. I get in this rhythm where I become a ball of perpetual energy- I get overwhelmed with everything I must do and just go and go and go. I don't know if I think that the world will actually stop.. but I'm pretty sure I believe somewhere that if I don't keep moving, something will fall apart. The thing that happens when I get in these cycles is that I let important ME things go, like running, or cleaning my house or reading or just doing nothing.
I'm in one of these cycles now, and I sort of knew it, but last night a friend came over for dinner and we chatted for about 3 hours, about life and work and love and loss and whatever. Granted a had a few beers, but I slept better than I've slept in weeks. I realized as I put my head on the pillow I was relaxed, I stopped spinning around like a tornado and just sat and enjoyed being with a friend chatting. And you know what, the world didn't stop spinning yesterday when I slowed down, as a matter of fact, I think my world got righted a bit, it had felt a bit off kilter.
Hard to realize and accept that its okay to have some ME time. Hopefully I get better at recognizing I'm spinning out of control earlier and earlier and make me time.