Monday, January 21, 2008


I don't know if its the cold weather, the time of year, the impending full moon or just life, but I'm feeling unsettled.

I've been working an inordinate amount of time. I put Sunshine to bed, run and then log on, I'm working on the weekends, I'm in at 7 or 7:30 the mornings I can be and I leave at 5 and of course, I don't take a break for lunch. I'm frustrated with some happenings at work, but am trying hard to express my opinion and then let go.

My friend over at Stella and Thomas wrote about some frustrations with her work place and balancing being a Mom. This weekend I was at Target and thinking of her, I picked up Chicken Soup for the Working Mom's Soul.. and it sits on my night stand waiting for me to actually read it.

Someone asked me the other day if I ever sit back and think about where I am and how I got here. Not here in a geographical sense, but here as in the person that I am. I paused at the concept and then said, every once and awhile briefly, but I should probably acknowledge it more. And today, someone asked me how a gift I made went over with my family... I told her they liked it, everyone keeps calling me and thanking me and telling me how wonderful it is... and I'm like.. yeah, okay... nice talking to you, and I couldn't put words to it.. I just said I'm not good at that and she said.. at taking a compliment? I said yeah.. that.

I was talking the other day with one of my friends who is getting a divorce and asking how it was going and he said, its hard, you know.. and I said, yeah I know.. there are days during the process where you sit up in bed and you say, please just let me get from the beginning to the end of this day today. And he said, yes, but I don't like that, I live for the moment and think every moment is precious, so to just try to get through is really hard for me.

Where am I going with this? Its a bit scattered, but as I said earlier, I'm feeling unsettled right now. These are the concepts that are floating around in my head... I sense some sort of connection between them all, but I haven't put all the pieces together...


Stella and Thomas said...

I need to pick that book up. I went on an interview today. It feels so sad that I am (very) seriously thinking about leaving the University but a light bulb went off the other day. I have control over some of my stress. I have a great field that I work in anad there are jobs everywhere. So...I looked and called and then interviewed. It is a nice package too. I know it will have it's own stresses but it will be work that is left at phone calls 24/7.

shamalam said...

I've been reading the book and I was thinking what would be cool.. when I finish it, I will mail it to you, then when you finish it, you send it to someone else who needs to read it, and we can keep track of where it goes... kind of our own version of Pay it Forward...